In remembrance of Matthew Epp

Matthew Epp passed away January 2, 2009. Once again our house is filled with saddness. Many people knew Matthew - he was a celebrity - on tv, the radio and with his book. The Matthew that I knew was as my nephew and my friend. When I first met Matthew I was only 15 and he was 6, even though there is 9 years seperating us it always seemed like we were more friends, I still remember summers spent jumping on the trampoline with water, four wheeling and just sitting around eating. I consider myself very lucky because I was able to watch Matthew grow up into the amazing person he became. Matthew had a special place in his heart for Zander - no matter how he was feeling he always seemed to find strength to pick Zander up and give him a hug and a kiss - I know Zander loved Matthew and he would refuse to go to bed if he knew Matthew was going to be coming over for a movie at our house! I am very thankful that Matthew got the chance to meet Madison and I got a picture of him holding her (I know me and pictures) but once Madison is older I will get to show her the picture of her cousin Matthew and tell her all about him! Even though we knew that Matthew was going to eventually pass away it was still a shock and is still hard. The night Matthew passed away I talked to Dwayne and we were going to go visit him the next afternoon, we never got the chance and that is something that I am going to always regret. At Zanders birthday Matthew talked about christmas and how he couldn't wait, I believe that he willed himself to live through the holidays and once they were over he could peacefully go to heaven.
The funeral service was very well attended and it was nice to see some of the people that Matthew's life had touched. If anyone would like to read about Matthews story Nicole has a website: http://www.caringbridge.org/canada/matthew/
if you go under journal history you can go back and read about everything he did - it is an amazing story!
At the viewing the night before the funeral we took Zander and Madison with us - I decided that I needed them with me there. When we walked into the room Zanders first words were: "Auntie Melanie" (he was pointing at Matthew). I told him no that it was Matthew and he replied that Matthew was an angel. Zander was at Melanie's viewing and it made me wonder just how much he remembers - it has been close to 5 months and he still remembers seeing her. Now at night time and morning we say "good night" to Matthew and to Auntie Melanie and he blows them both kisses. I have to say that Melanies passing has helped me cope with Matthews as I picture them together watching over us. It helps to know that Melanie was waiting for him and will take care of him for us.