September 2, 2008

Well as I'm sure many people already know my sister Melanie passed away on August 18, 2008. This is my first time having to deal with a loved ones death and I'm not sure I'm handling it too well. It all still seems so unreal and at times I don't believe it actually happened - it's like that week in August was all a dream. I have been having dreams about Mel lately where it all ends up being a joke and she's not really dead I then wake Chris up and ask him. I have to say the week right after was the easiest as there was so much to do that I just kept myself busy. Now everything just seems to drag on - Chris has started swathing so he is gone most days until dark so it's just Zander and me. Zander has been amazing through all of this, he did get clingy but that is exactly what I needed. Everyday in the morning as I change his diaper he plays with an angel statue that I have and he gives it kisses and says "morning auntie melanie" the part that breaks my heart is knowing that Zander probably won't remember his Auntie Melanie and that our new baby will never know her. One comfort I have is that the morning that she passed away we got to see her and Zander got one last play in with her. Thanks to everyone for their kind words and support during this very difficult time. Please continue to pray for us and please pray for a quick harvest so I can have my Chris back with me.